Maintenance Complaints in US Air Force

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.


Problem:

"Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem:

"Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem:

"The autopilot doesn't."
Solution: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem:

"Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem:

"Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem:

"DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem:

"Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem:

"Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem:

"IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem:

"Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem:

"Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."