Only in America A pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance. There are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. Drugstores do make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. People do order doublecheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Banks do leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. We do leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. We do use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. We do buy hot dogs packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. We do use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. They do have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. Contributed by Mustafa Faizullabhoy